Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed

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Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed Customer Reviews

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  • 2.0 out of 5 stars from Michigan Hiker -- Not a read for someone currently being abused by a narcissist. There are much better books for that than this one. : I bought this book in hopes that it would help me deal with the narcissist in my life and after reading the raving reviews. The first part of the book helped me understand narcissism better. I will give it that. I learned about the different types of narcissists and I was able to realize what type of narcissist I was dealing with. But the practical aspects of the book, the recommendation and suggested actions when it comes to dealing with the narcissist in our lives, that actually set me up for failure more than success. And it took quite a bit to get to a practical section. After applying the advise suggested in this book, things between my narcissist and me got worse. Now I know better and more about NPD and there's no changing these people, no matter what you do. The author recommends re-mothering the person. Narcissists are never wrong and they project their flaws and insecurities on those around them. Therefore, I was not able to apply one single recommendation from this book successfully and our arguments got even worse. I got so frustrated. Re-mothering the narcissist? They will accuse you of being a control freak. ( Reviewed in the United States on December 5, 2016 )
  • 1.0 out of 5 stars from CMc -- Dangerous -- Get out. This book will only lead to you being hurt longer. : This is not just a bad review; this is strong advice to not read this book, for your own good. This book is dangerous because it convinces people in relationships that they can learn to manage the narcissist's behaviors. If you really do believe the person in your life has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you should get resources to leave the relationship as soon as feasible and get help to recover from the damage that's already been done before you've been hurt more. Moreover, the advice wouldn't even work because it requires confronting them about how their behavior hurts you, and narcissists can't handle that. This book asks you to consider what about YOU triggers these reactions in you when the narcissistic acts in erratic and hurtful ways. No. Anyone would react like that to this systematic pattern of damaging behavior. Other reviews here are totally accurate when they say it is victim blaming, but when I was still in the situation I was willing to blame myself just like the narcissist I was dating did constantly. I regret having read this book because I stayed in a relationship based on its advice and now I have suffered for much longer than I needed to. I started re-reading it recently, now that I understand the behavior better, and realized what terrible advice this is and how this advice kept me in a damaging situation thinking I had some power when I didn't. If you are considering getting this book, instead pick one about how to recover from breaking up with or divorcing a narcissist. Also, I would be willing to bet you are keeping secret from your friends how bad the person's behavior really is in order to protect them or so you won't be embarrassed. Write an honest email to your friends telling them what you've been going through and asking for their support. They will be there for you more than you know. I promise you that staying is worse than you think right now and that leaving now is so much better than you realize. Please don't even read this book. I do not want you coming back in six months or a year saying how the advice in this book gave you false hope that things could be alright if you tried hard enough to deal with the narcissist's volatile behavior. When I bought this book I thought I needed to make it work, but I was wrong. I needed to protect myself and this book will give you the opposite advice. The dangerous part is that after the narcissist already has manipulated your thinking, you will believe that there is hope like the book says but at best it will prolong the crash and burn ending, with untold nights of wondering what you could do better between now and then. Other reviews said this and I thought I would be able to handle it better, but once the narcissist had already begun to affect me, this book just pulled me deeper in to thinking there was logic behind his pathology. ( Reviewed in the United States on July 13, 2015 )
  • 1.0 out of 5 stars from Mr. Green Jeans -- My wife and I read this book hoping to learn ... : My wife and I read this book hoping to learn how to deal with our narcissist son. The main theme is that you should kowtow to the narcissist and and give yourself a hug. Has the author ever dealt with a narcissist? ( Reviewed in the United States on July 5, 2016 )
  • 1.0 out of 5 stars from Mary Wilson -- " this book was a disappointment. It is as if the author didn't understand ... : After reading Dr. Karyl McBride's "Will I Ever Be Free of You," this book was a disappointment. It is as if the author didn't understand narcissists very well. She also makes the assumption that the reader wants to repair the relationship with the narcissist. That is a dangerous attempt and should not be recommended to anyone. ( Reviewed in the United States on September 4, 2016 )
  • 1.0 out of 5 stars from Katee -- Good luck getting the Narcissist to listen to you while ... : Good luck getting the Narcissist to listen to you while you are spouting all those extra words! ( Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2017 )
  • 4.0 out of 5 stars from Amazon Customer -- Interesting read but I don’t think all narcissis will take ... : Interesting read but I don’t think all narcissis will take your new approach well and still play on your words and mind. Worth a read tho as it brings important areas to look with both yourselfs triggers etc. I think this could help me in other areas of my life. ( Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 20, 2018 )
  • 3.0 out of 5 stars from Simon -- Well written but not useful to the victims that dealt or deal with narcissistic behavior disorders : Useful for therapist because they learn how to treat basic narcissistic behavior disorder. ( Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 14, 2019 )
  • 4.0 out of 5 stars from Sal190 -- Great read to help understanding of this PD : Great service. Book was a great, easy read and helped however the description gave me the impression you can help a narcissist..... YOU CAN'T! ( Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 26, 2016 )
  • 3.0 out of 5 stars from Peter V. -- Too much padding : information, but this is padded out with far too much meaningless waffle. ( Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 11, 2021 )
  • 5.0 out of 5 stars from Alina Miron -- Excellent subject : I absolutely loved reading this book! ( Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 12, 2020 )


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